As we know by now, conflict and argumentation is a natural and healthy attribute to any relationship. Whether you agree upon it or not, it can shape our relationships in a positive way and helps us grow not only as a couple but as an individual as well. Knowing how to stop conflict that you see in another relationship is a lot easier than stopping conflict within yourself. When I teach tap dance at work, I see conflict within my students from time to time; more so with the little ones. When two girls are fighting over who gets to be first in line, it is easier to stop the conflict because I can remove the two from the situation and replace someone else. But if I were to put myself in that same scenario, it is harder to stop the argument because I am arguing over something I want. I may believe at that time that I am right in the conflict and the other person is wrong. Although that situation is very broad, I find that it depends on what conflict I am in. If I see an argument coming with my significant other, I would do anything to avoid fighting because I can’t stand it when I can’t talk or hang out with the one I love. But I find that when I fight with one of my brothers, it quickly changes. I feel like I have to 'prove' something because I am the youngest. Yes, I know that is so lame, but that is EXACTLY why I take a course like this :) When it comes to taking a 'timeout' I always try really hard to not fight with my mom as well. I become so flustered at times because my mom is sick and has short-term memory loss. I feel guilty when I yell or get upset, so taking a timeout really helps the relationship between my mom and me
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ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your blog I identified with the guilt you feel when you lose control and get upset with your mother. I get upset with my grandma sometimes when I have to repeat the things I say to her. Having to repeat myself multiple times frustrates me. I hate when I don't catch myself before getting upset. I know that it is not her fault that she has difficulty hearing, so I try to be very patient with her. Taking time outs really helps me gain control of my emotions before unloading my negative reactions. I know that it can be difficult to control sometimes but I think making the effort shows how much we care about them.
Cant agree with you more here, for me running a after school program and seeing conflict with the kids, I can easily move them around or take them away from each other to stop a conflict. But as for myself it is very hard, because you are apart of that conflict. I feel that their are times when I personally lost control as well and yell at my mom for one reason or another. I feel that I try my very best to avoid problems or conflicts with my mom, because she is the type that always has to have the last word. And MUST! may I repeat, MUST thing she is right, or make a right out of a wrong situation. I think that by me sometimes making it a point to immediately get my point across first, it allows her to take in what im saying before her thoughts push out.
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