"The I-Statement"

I will never forget the first time I learned about the I statement. It was in third grade and during an assembly. It was one of those assemblies about bullies and how to express your feelings in a non-threatening way. Our book describes the I statement as the ability of it that personalizes the conflict by owning up to our feelings rather than to make them the responsibility of the other person. When we use the I Statement, it relieves the conflict of tension and replaces it with ownership. One problem I see with the I-statement is when little kids use it. I remember in elementary school how bullies turned the I statement into another way of torture. Explaining your feelings in such a way makes a bully not care about what you have to say. 'I feel like you are mean,' isn’t going to stop the bully. When we are young, we have to figure out a way that is going to affect the bully in a way of change. I believe it starts with the I statement, but I don’t believe it will essentially solve the problem. On a side note, as we grow older and can grasp an understanding of what conflict is, we can solve it effectively. The book shows many example of the difference between taking and not taking responsibility. Some examples are as followed:

Non responsibility:
He made me do it
That was a great movie

Responsibility:
I did it
I liked the movie a lot