"Hypertress"

Everybody stresses out at one or SEVERAL times throughout life. The key to understanding stress is how to manage it correctly. There are four different kinds of stress; eustress, distress, hypostress, and hyperstress. The one I have the most trouble with is hyperstress. Hyperstress is when too many tasks and responsibilities pile up on us and we are unable to adapt with the changes or cope with all that is happening at once. I am currently going through hyperstress. I told myself I wanted to remain busy this year and work so I can pay for an apartment. The problem is that I took on too many responsibilities at once that I freaked out because I couldn’t handle it. I guess I though I was super-woman and take on six jobs while trying to attend school full time. I was managing everything just fine with time, but I wasn’t putting my heart and soul into everything that I was doing because it was too much to keep in my mind. I finally had to quit two jobs and take online courses to maintain everything. I am glad I found a solution to my hyperstress. It is never fun to be stressed out, but managing it and knowing what to do in the future is relaxing to know.

"Expressing my Anger"

When it comes to conflict, I am a person who HATES it. I know now that conflict can better relationships, but I really don’t like tension, arguing yelling and do on. I am on who holds anger in until I can’t take it anymore. I do not blow up when I am angry, but simply try to solve the conflict as soon as possible so it can be over. I do like to talk about conflict right away when it happens. An example is with my boyfriend. When we start to bicker at each other and bot shut down, I like to talk about it right away so the situation does not become any worse than it already is. When this kind of situation happens over and over again, I tend to build up my anger and release it at the wrong time. I am happy that I do not blow up because I find when people do; it is just a mouth full of words that are not meant to be said. More hurtful gestures are made, and blowing up definitely makes the situation go from bad to worse. I don’t mind the way I handle my conflicts because I try to keep it as calm as possible. The only thing is that my boyfriend doesn’t like to talk about it right away and I do. This is something that we are working on to better our relationship.

"Three Solutions"

In life, I do believe the book when it states that we need to take ourselves less seriously and see the humor in our everyday activities; enjoy life more. I am a very outgoing and love to see humor in everything except for myself when I make mistakes. I become very hard on myself and need to lighten up a bit. Applying me to the three solutions would be such a bad idea. The first one is about mindless entertainment. I love to watch movies and relax on the couch.  One thing about mindless entertainment that I value is self-thought up humor. The more I try to make myself laugh, the better! The second solution is in the view that play is an attitude of mind that may pervade any human activity. I personally think it is really hard for work-a-holics to 'learn' how to play again. Once adults lose it and enter into the big world, bringing the mind back down to the age of a child is hard, but EXTREMLY necessary. The third solution is all about integration. We need to appreciate that joy and pain can be valued and found in the same place. It is okay to experience it positively. In order to experience TRUE joy, we have to devour pain first.

"Powerless Speech"

Speeches are spoken presentations that can be given anywhere at any time. The power in a speech in really important to keep an audience interested or not. In a powerless speech, the power is simply not there and or hidden. According to the book, a powerless is talking up to others; making requests or asking questions; speaking softly; and sounding tentative, uncertain, or unsure of thyself. From personal experiences, I have seen a number of powerless speeches. At my high school graduation, we had about ten valedictorians, so that meant ten speeches. One kid decided to talk about all his high school experiences. But he kept stopping and starting, losing his place, and trying to remember what even happened. It seemed as though he was making up all the experiences because when you talk about something that really happens to you, the little details matter so much in order to keep your audience entertained; that would be a powerful speech. Powerless speeches contain no style, value, and attitudes; at least it seems that way. A person can intend to contain all of those things, but the lack of confidence can derail a speech into a powerless one with no meaning at all.

"Unbalanced Power Relationship"

When people are in an unbalanced power relationship, one person feels like they have more power, and the other feels timid in a way. An unbalanced power relationship can lead to abusive conflicts if it gets out of hand. Having more power you feel obligated that no rules apply to you. You can do whatever you want when you want to do it. This can be used in abusive or non-abusive ways. You feel that you have the upper-hand in decision making and from that can lead to serious competition. If you are the one that contain less power, you can feel as though you have to 'follow orders.' Insecurity can take over your feeling because you feel you have no power to say what you think is right or wrong becasue power has been taken over you by the other. In order to solve this extreme case. The person who has more power needs to get off their high chair. In any relationship that contains love and friendship should never consume a high or lower power rank. It needs to be mutual and both parties need to have an assertive voice when it comes to conflict.

"Trust"

Trust is a word that is involved in every relationship. We have to be able to trust one another to truly be ourselves. If we don’t, we end up acting like someone else in order to avoid 'disapproval.' Growing up, we all go through relationships with friends. I became best friends with Sam in the first grade. She was bullied and never knew how to stand up for herself. Because I’ve always been so confident in myself, I instantly pulled Sam off her feet and taken care of her, until this past year. She seems to be going through an 'early-life crisis' and has lost all meaning to who she really is. She doesn’t trust the world around her and acts as some else to a new group of friends. She wanted something more I guess. I’ve lost complete trust in her because she would rather hang out with my brother than me. My reaction was tough because it took me awhile to realize that I’ve lost trust in her completely. At first it was really hard because she was my best friend, but I came to the realization that I simply cannot trust words out of her mouth because she’s lied for too long and has never admitted to anything. I don’t think trust in our friendship can be gained back simply to the fact that I hold grudges. Trust in any relationship is crucial and when trust is gone, then communication lacks. And I can’t wait around to gain it back when she doesn’t want too. LIFE GOES ON :)