When people are in an unbalanced power relationship, one person feels like they have more power, and the other feels timid in a way. An unbalanced power relationship can lead to abusive conflicts if it gets out of hand. Having more power you feel obligated that no rules apply to you. You can do whatever you want when you want to do it. This can be used in abusive or non-abusive ways. You feel that you have the upper-hand in decision making and from that can lead to serious competition. If you are the one that contain less power, you can feel as though you have to 'follow orders.' Insecurity can take over your feeling because you feel you have no power to say what you think is right or wrong becasue power has been taken over you by the other. In order to solve this extreme case. The person who has more power needs to get off their high chair. In any relationship that contains love and friendship should never consume a high or lower power rank. It needs to be mutual and both parties need to have an assertive voice when it comes to conflict.
I agree with you that having more power in a relationship can lead to abuse of the power; I’ve seen plenty of this. I struggle; however, to think of examples in which power imbalance includes non-abusive uses of the power. I have not observed many people with power do as the authors of our book suggest, “initiate and employ solution-oriented behavior… give up some of the more obvious power resources and symbols of authority…make power resources accessible to everyone in a group…increase his or her level of interest…give power to the relationship that exists between (people) by acknowledging their relationship, making commitments to it, and taking it into consideration as they behave.”
ReplyDeletePride and an elevated sense of one’s worth seem to keep many people with power from doing what the authors suggest. The majority of powerful people with whom I’ve been in conflict seem to expect me to do the solution-oriented behavior while keeping most of the power resources to themselves, and definitely are more concerned with their own interests than mine.
Reflecting on this makes me determined to do more sharing of power when I am the one with more power in a relationship.