When it comes to conflict, I am a person who HATES it. I know now that conflict can better relationships, but I really don’t like tension, arguing yelling and do on. I am on who holds anger in until I can’t take it anymore. I do not blow up when I am angry, but simply try to solve the conflict as soon as possible so it can be over. I do like to talk about conflict right away when it happens. An example is with my boyfriend. When we start to bicker at each other and bot shut down, I like to talk about it right away so the situation does not become any worse than it already is. When this kind of situation happens over and over again, I tend to build up my anger and release it at the wrong time. I am happy that I do not blow up because I find when people do; it is just a mouth full of words that are not meant to be said. More hurtful gestures are made, and blowing up definitely makes the situation go from bad to worse. I don’t mind the way I handle my conflicts because I try to keep it as calm as possible. The only thing is that my boyfriend doesn’t like to talk about it right away and I do. This is something that we are working on to better our relationship.
I can relate you greatly when it comes to wanting to avoid conflict in relationships. Even when I have little arguments or disagreements with my roommates I tend to be the one in which passively avoids the conflict. I’m not the type to confront anyone about problems that we may encounter, however when approached about an issue I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I just don’t like being the one to address the conflict and bring it to the forefront. Sometimes I feel as if conflict doesn’t need to be addressed in every situation, an example being if someone says something that may offend you it’s not always best to address it. I don’t like to blow things out of proportion and I view myself as rather passive when it comes to dealing with conflict.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand where you are coming from in terms of wanting to fix a problem as soon as possible in order to avoid “tension”. I as well do not like tension especially between myself and my girlfriend. When we’re good we can talk for hours. We can talk for even longer on the phone until one of us falls asleep. But when we happen to come to a disagreement or argument she can ignore my calls and give me the silent treatment all day. I agree that you should talk right away when in an argument so that the situation doesn’t get worse but some people, like my girlfriend, like their space to cool down and not say like you mentioned “a mouth full of words that are not meant to be said.” So while I do agree trying to fix and mend things right away is the best approach to resolving an issue we have to remember other people have different ways at settling a dispute. In my relationship my girlfriend and I are learning how to compromise and I think it’s working for us.
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